Does this ring a bell? You love your mum or dad, but it’s also tough being their child. Somehow, what you do never seems good enough. If you disagree or stand up to them, there’s an almighty row so you end up keeping quiet or just avoiding them for a peaceful life. Or maybe, they […]
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You know you really love your mum. She’s the person who was and maybe still is so central in your life. She brought you up; she was there for you, she tried to do her best by you. She’s been a massive influence in your life at every turn. But you have this guilty secret. […]
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It’s perhaps the nit picking that gets to you the most. Your place is never tidy enough. That outfit doesn’t quite suit you. The meal you cooked was a little off. The gift you chose was ok, but not quite the one. Your job is a good one, but there’s a feeling you could have […]
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As the world around continues its unstable lurching from one crisis to another, with acts of violence, despair and splitting, I’ve been thinking about the role of the shame in all this. Anyone watching the Brexit debates in the UK and the fall out from the vote, or the 2016 US Presidential contest will have […]
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You’re getting on the bus and the person behind you is talking loudly on their phone. It’s not just talk though. The language is foul, aggressive, abusive. You look round briefly. Inside there’s a conversation going on, do you say anything, do you keep quiet, do you look to others to intervene or […]
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Think of anger, and you probably think of it as something bad. Anger gets a bad press a lot of the time. At its worst, it can be a vehicle for aggression or violence. It can cause pain and fear in others. So it’s not surprising that you might think of it as a negative emotion. Culturally, you […]
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There they go again. Criticising this, undermining that, taking knocks out of who you are and what you try and do every day to support them. It’s so hard to take when you can see so clearly what you bring to your relationships and friendships but others don’t. It can feel like give give give, […]
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When Debra goes silent, a chill fills the room. Anya isn’t sure if she’s done something wrong, but she has a deep feeling of guilt and uneasiness. She’s scrabbles around, second guessing, wondering what’s up. ‘Nothing’, says Debra, I’’m fine.’ She sends out a great big sigh as she says this, leaving Anya in no […]
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You’re just in the middle of cooking dinner. The phone rings. You look down. It’s mum calling. You pick up for the chat even though it isn’t the best time. She knows this is when you usually have dinner, and yet she always seems to call just now. Something gets burnt, another thing doesn’t get […]
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Why is it that you can be looking at the most exquisite view, be in the presence of a moment of grace or beauty, be surrounded by those you love and yet be completely and utterly in pain. Nothing can shift the agony of the torment in your body, the thoughts that circle continually, the […]
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